WOMEN'S DAY by Dezma Fernandez Back
WOMEN'S DAY
“She is clothed in Strength and Dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” -Proverbs 31:25-26
March 8th. It had been a usual morning for me at work, except for the ‘feminine’ pink balloons and ribbons decorated at the main entrance of the office.“Happy Women’s Day!” My phone had chimed yet again with the same message from a different sender, making me smile wistfully and wonder what women’s day was all about and what did I as a woman really wish for on this once-in-a-year expression of gratitude dedicated to celebrating womanhood.
As I scroll through my newsfeed on Instagram during my break, several advertisements pop up: discounts on clothes, cosmetics, shoes, jewellery, salons, spas, making me ponder how conveniently ‘Women’s Day – a day in the early 1900s where 15,000 women had marched the streets of New York demanding for better pay, shorter working hours and voting rights –had now been glamorised and glossed up by the beauty industry!
“But what’s wrong in looking prettier?” my co-worker giggled, making me realize I may have pondered loud enough for her to hear. Nothing at all, I wanted to tell her in all sincerity when she added, “I’ve heard HR is organizing a free Zumba session for us women, and whoever signs up for the classes today, gets a discount on membership. I would definitely love to get a slimmer waistline. My relatives keep telling me I need to shed a few pounds.” I nodded but quickly zoned out. I agree it’s good to stay fit for your own body but certainly not for the sake of that judgemental relative who shows up once in a blue moon. However, this time I choose to muse in the silence of course.
One of the housekeeping staff – Radha akka -places my cup of tea on my table, and proceeds to the next cubicle wordlessly. The decorations of today’s occasion don’t seem to ease the lines of worry or tiredness on her forehead; she’s probably already worrying about the cleaning-up she’d have to do after the celebrations this evening. This brings to my mind the thought about the large numbers of women in our society who are domestic helpers, the ones who collect garbage outside our homes, the caretakers who either look after the young or the old, the daily wage labourers – the ones who are sometimes poorly skilled and often poorly paid. I think of my neighbour who had been promoted from a ‘housewife’ to a ‘homemaker’, yet whose work goes unrecognized and unpaid while questions like ‘What do you even do all day at home?’ get thrown at her.
My train of thought comes to an abrupt halt when two employees from the HR department walk to my cubicle with a gift hamper. “Happy Women’s Day” they wish me with bright smiles. I force myself to be polite enough to not roll my eyes at the articles in that gift basket – a scented candle, some low-fat cookies, a spa voucher, and a box of body butter. Instead, I wish I could have an equal hike or bonus as the male colleagues for the same work done? Even a day off would’ve been better?
Surprisingly, my dismay doesn’t go unnoticed by a work-friend, who comments in a hushed tone and a sweet smile, “A hamper just for being a woman! You girls have it so easy! I bet no one even remembers men’s day! Lucky you!”I nod with a sardonic smile as I place the hamper on my desk and take my seat, his words ringing in my ears.
Women have it easy? Lucky we, of course! Perhaps this is why every time we step out of our homes, we have to carry a pepper spray or have our keys lacing through our fingers like wolverine’s claws. Perhaps this is why we’re constantly on guard when we take public transport. The moment we board a cab, we text our friends the number of the taxi and send our live location to them. Perhaps this is why when we wish to use a public washroom, we go as a girl gang and check and recheck the stalls for secure locks. Perhaps this is why we appear so paranoid because we are indeed paranoid! Paranoid about trying our best not to get molested, raped or killed because apparently the kind of clothes I was wearing or my generally friendly nature had ‘asked for it!
A too ‘serious and angry’ thought? I apologise. The daily news about the troubling issues of violence, discrimination and abuse that most women face day to day must have gotten to me. How silly of me to get emotionally carried away by yet another candle march seeking justice! I certainly don’t wish to be grumpy or keep cribbing on a day as special as today.
Anyway, my mind is drawn right back to the thought I had in the very beginning: What do I really want on Women’s Day? I seem to have found an answer to it and it’s very simple, I promise.
I want to be able to live, to love, to be treated with respect and dignity. More kindness and empathy for each other without any discrimination, judgement, snide remarks, sexist jokes or unhealthy competition. To be able to stand up for each other and be each other’s safe space and support in all spheres of life. For all girls to be able to have equal access to health and educational opportunities. For all women to have equal participation in political and economic decision-making. That being said, I realize that I don’t want all of this for March 8th alone. I want this on every single day, minus the fancy balloons, ribbons, discounts and hampers. Pretty simple, right?
But well, if this is too much to ask, I might just have to force myself to stay content and calm by lighting a scented candle, munch on those low-fat cookies and book that spa appointment at the earliest, for now.
Article by Dezma Fernandez / Chruch Ward
